Male mentor turns young father's life around

He was in his early twenties, had gang affiliations and, shortly after the birth of his first child, was remanded in custody.

Standing in the dock, the young father listened as his probation report was read out and held his breath for the judge to speak: “In this short time, this is the most dramatic turnaround I have seen in a man. You are now on your way to becoming a responsible citizen and a good father,” the Judge declared.

The “dramatic turnaround” was achieved in large part by interventions made by Family Start workers and involvement of a Male Mentor.

The mentor is not a Family Start employee, but can be called in when Family Start identifies a dad who does not support mum, or where domestic violence is an issue. The mentor’s role is to visit in tandem with the Family Start Whānau Worker and engage the dad in positive activities.

This can include enrolling dad at the gym, going fishing or taking the kids to the beach. All the while, the mentor is promoting the positive benefits of playing with children, helping mum and being involved. His aim is to help men become better dads, teach them about supportive, respectful relationships and show them the benefits this has for all the whānau.

With our 20-year-old, the mentor took a no-nonsense approach. He does with all the dads he works with, but this young father had pressing issues to be sorted out quickly.

This meant convincing him to turn himself in to police over an outstanding arrest warrant and helping him to organise Community Service work. Together they set up appointments with Work and Income, and Career Services, organised a house move for the family, and measured up and installed a fire guard. He also helped the father buy work clothes and tools for a job.

The pair went fly fishing together, and they also attended the gym. This gave them an opportunity to bond, to share ideas and to talk about parenting. He taught dad how to change a nappy and explained how he always helped with his babies. They went through Ahuru Mōwai and Born to Learn principles with a whānau worker and approached Plunket to work with the family.

In May our young father showed up at the office and explained that he could not keep his appointment with the mentor – he had to appear in court.

The mentor went along and watched as his client spoke with new confidence to the judge and explained what he had achieved. Impressed, the judge called on the mentor to outline the programme and explain his involvement.

The judge was even more impressed. He said he was pleased with the community support for the family, the fact dad was working and that he hadn't re-offended. It was, he admitted, a dramatic turnaround.

Today, mum and dad are successfully parenting their baby. They have ongoing support from a whānau worker as well as the male mentor as long as funding allows.

Initial funding for this particular Male Mentor came from the Community Action Fund – which was part of the Campaign for Action against Family Violence. This was a three-year Fund that supported communities to come up with innovative ways to help families change their attitudes and behaviours towards family violence and family relationships.

For more information about Family Start in Taupo contact Sharon Simpson on on 07 3765961