Brothers and sisters

Bickering

Arguing can help your kids to learn to solve problems and disagreements, and to respect other people’s feelings. The trick is to make sure the conflicts are controlled and that noone is hurt.

Try letting your kids solve their own problems. Give them a time limit – and explain that you’ll turn off the television or take away the toy they are arguing over if it isn’t sorted by them. Get them to take the argument outside – and out of your hearing. The NZ Families website has some more tips on dealing with sibling relationships.

“It’s not fair!”

Children will often compare themselves to their siblings – and it’s usually because something’s “not fair”. Treating your kids fairly does not always mean you treat them the same…so how do you avoid being accused of being unfair?

Check if the accusation has some truth – is the same child often feeling hard done by? Talk to them about it and listen to how they are feeling.

But chances are the complaint is trivial – “She got more lollies than me!” If you can, ignore it, or laugh it off. Try not to buy into petty arguments – that will just encourage more complaining. The Let's Thrive website looks at dealing with fights between siblings, and when to intervene.