Illness and dying

People’s health in old age often depends heavily on their health in their younger years. When older people become ill, their body finds it harder to defend itself and they are at higher risk of complications.

Watching a loved one suffering can be upsetting and stressful. At this stage of life, total recovery may be unlikely, so the focus is often symptom prevention and relief. Preservation of dignity and plans for future care are also important. There are a number of organisations and support groups that can offer you advice and assistance.

The Age Concern website has information on health concerns for the older person and links to support groups. They also offer information on respite care and palliative care.

The death of your older family member may come suddenly or it may be an expected relief from an ongoing illness. No matter the situation, they need you to reach out to them, to listen to them and to care. They need to know that they’re not alone, and that they still have some control over their situation.

The Hospice website has some thoughts on questions you might want to ask your family member to help you understand their needs. If you haven’t already, you may need to talk with your loved one about making a will and their wishes for their funeral arrangements.

Hospice New Zealand cares for people with incurable illness and conditions. They also provide information on caring for those near the end of their lives. This article from the American Family Caregivers Alliance offers advice for discussing end-of-life care options. This brochure from Christchurch District Health Board has advice for those who are dealing with a loved one dying:

When a loved one is dying, we often begin to grieve even before they die. This article explores the stages of grief and how to care for yourself and others when grieving. For thoughts about caring for someone who is dying, see the Alternative Health website.

The Citizen’s Advice Bureau website has information on dealing with death, including legal requirements after a person’s death.