Children with Special Needs

All children need lots of love and warmth, and limits and boundaries to guide their behaviour. Sometimes they also need extra help with some areas such as mobility, learning or sensory input.

Behaviour/discipline
Some tips
Support for families
More information

Behaviour/discipline

Think about whether your child’s behaviour is part of their natural development. Most children go through stages where they throw food, have tantrums, or say no to every instruction. Talk with other parents, you’ll get lots of practical information and advice and you’ll be able to think about the areas where your child might need some extra help.

Some children need help with learning and may develop behaviour that is a bit unusual. This doesn’t necessarily mean that your child needs specialist intervention; it usually means your child does not understand what you are trying to tell them. It is likely that they are trying to tell you something with their behaviour.

They may not understand because they have trouble concentrating, they don’t understand what you’re saying or they forget what you have told them. This may mean you have to show them what to do or that you have to use very clear instructions that have to be repeated lots of times.

Your child could also be trying to tell you they are really sensitive to hot and cold, find touching some textures really difficult or they don’t know what to do when they are playing with other children. Sometimes they might just be hungry or tired.

Allow time.

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Some tips

• Decide whether the behaviour is a big or small problem. Sometimes it’s best to overlook some behaviour.
• Be consistent, this is really important if your child has difficulty understanding instructions.
• Be firm, without yelling.
• Tell them when they are being good.
• Don’t try to discipline your child while they’re having a tantrum. Make sure they’re safe and keep an eye on them.
• Give clear physical prompts. If they hit the cat, show them how to stroke gently and say "stroke the cat gently" not "be nice to the cat".
• Have routines and structure so your child sleeps and eats at the same time each day.
• Don’t smack your child, they might copy your behaviour and smack other people.
• If you’re getting really angry, walk away and take some deep breaths.
• Think about what their behaviour is telling you. Are they tired, frustrated, scared, sensitive to touch or a situation?
• Encourage and guide your child to play with others, they’ll learn lots.
• Use lots of redirection; divert their attention to something else.
• Give them choices between two things, rather than an open "what would you like to do".

Be really consistent.

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Support for families

Life with a child with special needs can be very complicated. You may find you have lots of appointments, be dealing with stress or grief, or have extra tasks to do at home. Keep in touch with your friends, go to local support groups and keep your family in the loop. No one can parent on their own, and you need people you can talk to, who can support you, and who you can have fun with.

Your other children may also need support to understand what is happening. Try to spend time with them so they don’t feel excluded.

The stages can be slower, but it’s so exciting.

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More information

Parents of Vision Impaired (NZ) Incorporated
Phone/Fax 07 838 3439
Email paul@pvi.org.nz
www.pvi.org.nz

IHC Library and Information Service
Phone 04 472 2247
Fax 04 472 0429
Email webmaster@ihc.org.nz
www.ihc.org.nz

CCS Information Service
Phone 04 801 0854 or 0800 227 200
Fax 04 382 9353
Email info@no.ccs.org.nz
www.ccs.org.nz

Parent to Parent
Phone 07 834 1108 or
toll-free 0508 236 236
Fax 07 834 1108
Email p2pnational@compuserve.com
www.parent2parent.org.nz

The National Foundation for the Deaf
Phone 0800 867 446
Tel/TTY 09 307 2922
Fax 09 307 2923 or 0800 332 343
Email kim.mckelvey009@cyf.govt.nz
www.nfd.org.nz